What is sex magic? For most of us raised as Christians, the mere mention of this scary topic conjures to mind images of dark spells or perhaps agreements with nefarious entities. For others, this may be associated with complex formula of Alex Crowley, Illuminati rituals or other secret societies. Some may connote this with blood pacts of witches or Wiccan nature rituals. To be frank, we really don’t know much about these other interpretations, and I personally am skeptical that any of that is real. My only exposure to the above was playing Dungeons and Dragons and other role playing fantasy games.
In our experience, sex magic is simply the manifestation of our desires, fueled by sexual creation energy. This is called the Law of Attraction in many popular books and movies such as “The Secret” and “The Answer to Everything”, the later perhaps not as popular, but I starred in it. This Law is simply that “like attracts like”, or that similar energetic frequencies/vibrations are drawn to similar energetic frequencies/vibrations. One of the best documented sources of this is the book “Think and Grow Rich”, by Napoleon Hill. Unlike most authors that just write down their opinions, Napoleon was hired by Dale Carnegie (at the time, the richest person on the planet) to spend 20 years researching the richest and most successful people on the planet. This book contains the key traits that all of them had in common. The gist of it is that our brains are not just interpreters, but creators of our reality. The quickest way to manifest what you desire is to get clear on what you want (write it down, be specific), believe that you can have it (and deserve it), then develop a driving desire for it visualizing it as if it already occurred. The more emotional excitement and passion you can call forth in yourself, the quicker it will manifest. He also wrote a chapter on Transmuting Sexual Energy that all the most successful people did, this is simply taking our unused sexual energy and channeling it into creating what we desire. Since passion and pleasure is the fuel, sexual energy is the greatest fuel of all. This is why Monks and Priests would take vows of chastity and isolate themselves in monasteries, so that they could channel their sexual energy, primarily through ignoring it, into the service of “God”. Tantra teaches us how to utilize and channel this energy in a different way.
Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein both determined that the brain receives and sends out electromagnetic vibrations and that everything is made up of energy and vibration. Quantum physics and modern research studies demonstrated by movies like “What the Bleep” are now proving what Eastern Mystics have known for thousands of years. Where our attention goes, energy f lows and results follow. Our thoughts and beliefs create our reality in a very real and direct way. The only real question is to what degree this occurs.
Everything in the known Universe is made of the same energy. What makes a chair different from an apple is fundamentally that they vibrate at different frequencies. Science is now able to measure the frequencies or vibrations of even emotions. The lowest vibration/emotions are fear, grief, depression, and despair. The highest frequency emotions are joy, empowerment, freedom, gratitude and love. Since the brain sends out a certain frequency when we feel a certain way, it actually attracts and manifests results that match that signature in the Universe. Have you ever been in a bad mood and hung out with a happy friend, or better yet, a group of happy friends and felt happier? This is the process of entrainment, when a stronger vibration pulls a weaker vibration into or closer to its frequency. The person most committed to their emotional state tends to draw the other one to them, so a severely depressed person may make a happy person sadder. This is one reason why there is power in teamwork or mastermind groups; when one person’s energy gets out of alignment with the group goal, the collective energy field pulls it back in. This is also why gratitude is so important, it increases the vibration and attraction of more of the same.
If this is all a bit too woo woo for you (it certainly was for me when I first encountered this), let’s just look at psychology. Due to technology, we are currently bombarded by millions of stimuli daily, more than the average person would encounter in their lifetime, not too long ago. In order to cope with overwhelm (without which we literally would not be able to function), our brains have a reticular activator system, whose job it is to determine what to pay attention to. What we focus on tells our brain what to bring to our awareness. This is far more insidious than we realize as we discussed in our previous Sexual Empowerment is Shaped by our Stories chapter, as our belief systems and past interpretations can dramatically affect what we even have access to seeing and hearing. So, whether it is a business opportunity, love life partner, or opportunity for improved health, we only have access to that which we are actively seeking (even if it is at an unconscious level). Likewise, if we focus on what we don’t want, we see evidence and proof of that, which strengthens our conviction and makes it more difficult to access in the future.
In addition to training the brain, transmuting sexual energy through Tantra opens the body. Using a transmutation breathes, like the Babaji Cobra Breath, takes sexual energy from one’s root and moves it up one’s spine. This opens up energy Chakras that improves one’s internal integration, increasing many things such as security, creativity, power, connection, expression, and intuition. This process clears away blocks in the body, such as trauma or muscle memory around shame and fear, that prevent the flow of creative life force energy. With one’s conscious and unconscious aligned, one has the internal peace, clarity, and potential to more readily manifest one’s dreams.
I believe that we are all divine. What I mean by this is that we are all connected to Source, God, Goddess, Nature, or Universal Energy. Science again has shown that we are all made up of the same energy and that the brain can tap into this universal energy. Almost all religions believe that there is a force of goodness larger than individual people that permeates and influences all things. The way most cultures describe tapping into their divine potential is through prayer. There is power in prayer or it would not still be utilized practically worldwide by the majority of people on the planet. What is prayer but a feeling of gratitude for or a clear request for something that one has or wants, to a power greater than oneself, with the belief and earnest desire for it to happen. This often involves trusting and allowing it to manifest in a way different than the logical brain predicts. The only difference in my mind between prayer and sex magic is that one adds instead of ignores sexual energy in the process. Some forms of Tantra (usually called White Tantra) move Kundalini (sexual energy) up the spine without sex, through similar breathing, movement, and visualization techniques. I personally believe that making love is a quicker, more powerful, and fun way to have similar results.
One of the roadblocks to us utilizing our ability to energetically attract our desires is belief. Whatever we believe we can achieve. If someone believes that they cannot do something, they will always be right. The reason that we are not performing miracles on a regular basis is that subconsciously we don’t believe something is possible. That is one reason that faith is so powerful; it opens the door to possibility where there was none before. We see this in sports; often when a world record is broken, like the 4 minute mile in 1954 by Roger Bannister that people think is impossible, many people are able to break soon after, because they now know it is possible. Only the people crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do. This is why visualizing and emotionally feeling like the goal has already been achieved is so powerful. The subconscious cannot distinguish between fantasy and reality, so this bypasses the belief barrier. The more you visualize something happening, the more it appears feasible, the more evidence you create for it, then the more solid your belief becomes.
So, what about “God” and the spiritual component? To be clear, Ecstatic Hearts Tantra is simply a yoga practice, not associated with any belief system or religion. Our most active students include Christians (Catholics, Protestants, Lutherans, Mormons, Universalists, etc.), Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus, Jews, Atheists, and Agnostics. We are compatible with anyone who believes in Love and Goodness.
Though it is not relevant to what we teach, I am sometimes asked what my personal beliefs are around “God”. I was raised as a Christian, then as an Agnostic. I had a phase where I explored many religions and was a Buddhist for a while. I even traveled around the world with Lama Ole for a few months and did things like meditate and practice for three days on how to leave my body when I die, until a drop of blood came out of the crown of my head (apparently proof that I got it right). I settled on being spiritual instead of religious, because I think when human institutions get involved, they tend to mess up the direct connection to source that is available to all of us. I also think that it is egotistical for anyone to believe that they “know” the one right way. As Socrates said, the older and wiser I grow, the more I realize that I actually know nothing. When we pray, does a force greater than ourselves answer? For me, things happen all the time that go well beyond logical explanation. Often things unfold for a higher good that I could never imagined even being smart enough to conceive of. The older I get, the more evidence I see of a greater good, a divine intelligence supporting us all in evolving to our highest state. Often my greatest desires are answered before I even know that I wanted them and I see an innate intelligence in energy in a myriad of ways.
That said, most of my spiritual experiences have come through Tantra. I believe that all humans are evolving via different paths towards enlightenment. Personally, I think Tantra is the fastest and most fun way to get there. One reason is that while I did not have the calling or discipline to do many other spiritual practices, making love is something I am happy to do over and over again. I do believe and have experienced something greater than myself; a force that has a divine intelligence that only has our best wishes in mind. I have experienced my soul outside my body. I have experienced being in heaven or having a direct orgasm with “God”. If I were to define “God”, I view it as Love and Creation that is everywhere and within us that knows all and is Good. I do not think it has ego desires of humans, nor do I think there is a devil, hell, or evil (just disconnection, confusion, and ignorance, and temporary illness).
It is actually funny how often my belief systems get destroyed on a regular basis as new things occur every few months that I previously thought was impossible. I recently have had very clear experiences of my past lives. I have felt/sensed ghosts. I have had dramatically relative experiences of time. I have seen UFOs. I have seen impossibe dancing shadows, perhaps dryads, in the woods. I have had psychic experiences. I have been able to feel other people’s feelings and sensations as if I were them. I can energetically and orgasmicly connect with dozens of people without touching them. I have felt like a God striding on Earth. I have felt one with all that is. I have experienced energy and pleasure that I believe would have killed me a few years ago. I have witnessed countless miracles.
Are their spirits? Well, I have had multiple experiences of my own spirit outside of my body and in past lives, so believe our souls are eternal. One of my teachers says that Angels, Ghosts, Aliens, Fairies, Spirits, Demigods, etc. are all inter-dimensional beings and that at the higher levels of Tantra, one can interact with them. Another teacher has been abducted by aliens, twice. Two of my teachers have had interactions with spiritual dragons. Other teachers of mine claim to have had physical visits from Babaji Nagaraj born in 202 AD and one had a visit from Sunyata Saraswati. A while back when I was attempting to determine if I thought spirits were real, I started learning about Ganesha, the elephant headed God that is the Patron of Tantra. Almost on a lark I said out loud, “OK Ganesh, if you are real and want me to believe in you, give me a sign.” A few minutes later, I was turning around in a neighborhood I had never been in before. I pulled into a random driveway and there before me was an open empty garage that had been converted into a shrine. And staring at me with a jolly smile was as 10’ tapestry of you guessed it, Ganesh. The only “God” I worship though is the spirit of Love.
While I believe in spirits, I am not sure to what degree they can affect us. Occasionally, we may invite the support of good spirits and or ancestors who wish us well to join part of a Tantra ritual. A few times we have created circles of protection as part of an opening ceremony. Personally, I have never had any type of negative experience when doing Tantra. Nor do I know anyone that has had one while vibrating with orgasmic energy. My theory is that when one is vibrating at such a high frequency, negative or lower vibrational spirits (assuming they exist) are repulsed. I feel that I may have guardian angels.
So, how does one do "sex magic" in this context?
First, everyone’s primary goal should be to feel extraordinarily happy and loving. The more joyful and loving a person is, the higher their vibration is and the more powerful and juicier their intention will be. There are a variety of Tantra techniques for this from changing one’s physical state to focusing on gratitude.
Two, the bigger the group of like minded people, the more energy is available for manifestation. A caveat is that the group needs to be aligned or on the same wave length, too many people with too many different thoughts and desires can create chaos that detracts from the focus. While all Tantra can be done by oneself, two or more significantly increases ones progress, not only due to energy but because of the emotional bonding between them. A couple that is truly in love can be more powerful in their manifestation than a group of 6 people that don’t know each other very well.
Third, the person or group needs to be clear on their focus. Have you ever had the experience of something going wrong? Then more stuff went wrong and it just snowballed into a terrible day? This is because when a person starts focusing on what is not working or what they lack, it begins to attract more of the same frequency of lack or brokenness. When things are not working, just focus on what is working and on what you desire next. The beauty of this is that even if you don’t have a clear focus, but you are focusing on feeling good (rule one), you will energetically be attracting more and more of the same, leading to bigger and better things.
Fourth, believe that whatever your goal is, it is possible. If something is too outside your comfort zone, aim for something smaller and more easily attainable, from your perspective. As evidence grows, your belief strengthens and you can go after increasingly more “challenging” goals.
Fifth, increase the passion and enthusiasm for their desire or goal. This is where love making can enter the picture. And though sex without love can still generate a lot of energy and passion, this is still not as powerful as deeply felt passionate love. In fact, when one advances in Tantra, one can be connecting lovingly and orgasmically, even if intercourse is not involved.
Sixth, transmute the sexual energy through one’s entire body, often in lieu of ejaculation. Breathe your sexual energy through your whole body.
Seventh, repeat as often as possible until it becomes mastered unconsciously. We become or attract what we think of most. This is why affirmations and mantra are useful. One advantage of Tantra is that it allows extraordinary amounts of intense blissful orgasmic energy to flow through a person or group for hours at a time, that cannot be experienced in any other way. As these neural pathways to increased ecstasy are formed, and it is no longer necessary to have sexual interaction to access orgasm, one or more people can maintain this heightened state of bliss for longer periods of time.
The result of all this is when practicing Ecstatic Heart Tantra one is doing “sex magic” without even realizing it. Just by focusing on feeling good, caring for others, making love, and doing some simple yoga, a person grows to become increasingly orgasmic. The more orgasmic, joyful and loving one becomes, the more energetically magnetic they become in attaining their desires. Over time, the world transforms into a heavenly fairie tale that magically grants your desires with seeming ease and grace. Best of all, an ecstatic heart entrains those around them to raise their vibration and joy as well.